


Anything You Could Do

by samcatburglar



Series: A Scale in the Breeze [4]
Category: Slayers (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Comedy, Domestic Fluff, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Mild Sexual Content, enemies to idiots, no substance just trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:14:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28063011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samcatburglar/pseuds/samcatburglar
Summary: Xelloss is under the impression that he is very attractive and Filia is definitely exhausted by this.
Relationships: Filia Ul Copt & Xellos, Filia Ul Copt/Xellos
Series: A Scale in the Breeze [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2055669
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	Anything You Could Do

**Author's Note:**

> @bogbees was so very sweet and drew!! some very cute and funny xelfi shenanigans and i got inspired :) simply love to write two idiots who share one horny braincell.

The walk home was quiet. Filia didn’t mean for it to be that way for Val’s sake, but after a day of dealing with supply orders not showing up, Gravos bumping into the porcelain shelf, and customers getting impatient despite the previous two events, she just didn’t have it in her to ask him what he colored today. Luckily for her, the ancient dragon toddler didn’t mind silence. He could sense his mother’s weariness. Now wasn’t the time for excited romps off the road and into the fields, and he was just as content to hold her hand. He pushed his head into her thigh. She smiled.

“Hello, chicken.” Her voice was fatigued, but warm with affection. “I’m sorry Mama couldn’t play as much today.”

He shrugged. “S’okay. Jillas played jacks with me!”

“Oh? Did you win?” She tried not to sound distracted as her thoughts hesitantly wandered towards the monumental task of making dinner.

“Yeah, but I fink-- I fink he let me win,” he replied, cheeks puffing out in consternation. “Was--was too easy, Mama!”

Filia huffed affectionately through her nose. Somehow, she wouldn’t be surprised if the fox was actually trying his best, and Val’s natural ancient dragon abilities were giving him the upper hand. “You should ask him next time.”

The toddler made a benign growl of frustration, gaining more of a pep in his step. As their cottage became larger in the distance (as did the looming task of making dinner), Filia wished that she could tap into the energy all children seemed to have at his age. She tried to remember a time where she did have that much energy, but quickly thought better of it -- it was never a good idea for her to reach too far back, especially in such a state. She would sour her mood even more.

“We’re home, Mama, we’re home, we’re home!” Val sang, tearing away from her hand and scampering onto their doorstep. “Quick, quick, open, open!”

“Open, ‘ _please_ ,’ my love,” she schooled gently, shivering slightly with the evening’s chill. Reaching into her pouch for her key, she idly noted that this was the first of such a chill she’d felt all season. _No wonder. People must be worrying about stocking for the coming winter. Still, that doesn’t give them the excuse to be so rude!_

Val hung off the door knob with a mischievous grin showing off his little white fangs. “P’eeeeeeeeaaaaase!”

The dragoness peered down at her son with a familiar smile, but worry tugged at its corners. _I’ll make sure we’re ready, too._

With a satisfying turn of metal, the lock gave, and Filia opened the door to her cottage with a strange tension in her muscles. But her house was the same. Just dark. She clenched her jaw as she removed her coat and placed it neatly on its assigned hook. _It must just be the cold._

“Mama, mama, can I go play blocks?!” Val chirped, having already bolted to the bottom of the stairs with golden eyes flashing.

“Oh, be careful please, Val!” She moved her wrist elegantly through the air, drawing a sigil of holy magic in radiant white light before dispersing it to all candles of the house, filling its spaces with warmth and further preventing any disaster involving toddlers tripping over their own feet. She half-expected some other unwanted shape to be revealed with the spell, but when there was none, she quickly replaced that tension with focus on dinner. 

“You can play until dinner’s ready, but when I call for you, you come right away, alright?” She followed him up the stairs a bit, calling after him, “I don’t want you eating too late, you’ll wake up with a tummy ache again!”

He was already running down the hall when she finished her fussing admonishments. She sighed with half affection and half exhaustion, shaking her head before turning back to her kitchen.

And what she saw made her scream at a pitch only dogs could hear.

“Oh, welcome home, Filia! Would you like a bath, dinner, or _me?_ ”

Xelloss stood in her kitchen, dexterously tossing some indiscriminate slop in a pan, but surprisingly, this was secondary. For the only barrier between Filia’s eyes and Xelloss’ astral genitals was a frilly pink apron. Her exhaustion felt like it tripled in weight as she blinked once. Twice.

“I’m going to bed,” she deadpanned, turning around.

“Oh! How _bold!_ ” The sharp sound of planes tearing grated against her ears as she was forced to behold this heinous sight once more, this time at the top of the stairs. “Right down to business, then! My, my, I knew my form was pleasing, but I had no idea that apparel such as _this_ could have such a _profound_ and _immediate_ \--”

“Xelloss, would you-- this isn’t-- I don’t know where in heaven’s name you got this idea from--”

“Mn, probably not from there.”

“--but if you don’t get out of my way and out of my house, I will take that pan and turn your head into ground meat!” 

She tried to stomp past him, but of course, Xelloss took a light step to the side and blocked her path. In his familiar infuriating tone, he countered, “Promise?”

“Xelloss, I--” Filia suppressed a shiver as she shoved him aside, her nerves feeling like lit bomb wicks as her skin touched his. “Val is _right_ upstairs, can you just--!”

“Oh don’t worry, Filly.” He closed one eye in an insufferable wink, and whispered, “I already told him that Mama and I were having one of our _secret_ meetings! He’s engrossed in the blocks I got for him anyway.”

She had to actively reset her mind from the confusion that seized it, because for a split second, part of her was endeared that he already looked after Val in whatever “romantic” scheme he had planned. But after that second was indeed split and gone from this world, she was suddenly aware of the most vile stench coming from directly in front of her. Her mouth flooded with saliva, body already anticipating a retch.

“Good Go--” she stammered, putting the back of her wrist to her mouth. “Xelloss, what the _fu--_ ”

“Mn, you’re right.” His mouth was pursed in a pensive expression as he stared into the pan. “Could do with a little more on the stove, I think.” He snapped the fingers of his free hand, and the pan appeared on her now lit stove. It did temporarily relieve the smell, but that was only one problem solved in a list that was growing exponentially by the second.

“Now, where were we?”

“N--! Nowhere! We were never anywhere, I’m-- you look _ridiculous_ , Xelloss, what were you even-- God, you never can just. Knock, can you? You can’t just…come over for tea like a normal person! Not even once!”

It was now Xelloss’ turn to be offended, it seemed. “Er, first of all, _no_ , of course I can’t, I am very obviously _not_ a person, and second of all, what do you _mean_ I look ridiculous?” He splayed his hands to the side as if to further enhance his frame. “I am the _definition_ of sexy!”

Filia’s laugh began with a very loud and undignified raspberry, and she forced herself to ignore the fact that this was her first time laughing all day. “Oh my goodness. Really? Is that what you think you look like right now?” She continued to laugh on her way back down the stairs, towards the pan that had an up and coming date with the garbage can.

The demon cocked his head in a jerking, inhuman manner, making his deep offense immediately obvious. “Well if you don’t think _I’m_ sexy in this, I doubt _you_ would look very sexy in this either!”

Filia stopped dead in her tracks, her face and neck flushing with heat, but she turned back to face his petulant expression with one of her own. “ _Excuse_ me?”

“You heard me.”

“That--” She pointed at his torso, her anger making her mouth unable to listen to her brain. “That is _my_ apron. You think I wouldn’t be able to pull that off?”

“No,” he answered in a mocking tone. “Because your _repression_ barely lets you _bathe_ naked, let alone wear something as scant as this.”

She was loath to admit how much that stung. She’d made leaps and bounds in the area of letting herself expand her horizons and Xelloss knew it. This was a cheap blow borne out of wounded pride, and at the end of the day, it was more embarrassing for Xelloss and his quicksilver mind.

Even so, Filia was hellbent on making him pay for it.

Keeping level with his gaze, she reached behind her to unfasten the back of her dress, her blind rage making her fumble enough to frustrate her into just tearing them off. She wrenched her arms from the sleeves, shoved the fabric over her hips, and kicked the now ruined dress to the side. She then proceeded to take her slip off so aggressively over her head, it was as if a wasp was trapped in its folds. With each jerk of fabric, she stomped towards him, and soon enough she was standing a step below him, bare-breasted and chest heaving with each of her breaths. But she wasn’t finished. Not once did her eyes move from his as she reached around his waist to untie the apron, and he made no move to impede her progress. She donned the pink, yellow-chick-embroidered apron as though it were armor, and with a final tug of the ribbon behind her, the display was complete. Her blue eyes flashed with the heat of a hearth’s hottest flame, and she waited. 

Xelloss could do nothing but stare. Not even cover himself and his now very apparent... _interest_. It seemed every time he expected Filia to do one thing, she barrelled so belligerently in the other direction that it left him feeling as though he’d just been slapped.

He blinked once. Twice. And with a leer twisting his nearing mouth, he pronounced, “You win.”


End file.
